Someone somewhere else in the cube farm just let loose with this total wicked laugh. Like “Mua ha hahahahaHA!” Only, it was their real laugh. Regardless, I almost peed my pants. I had no idea that I worked with Snively Whiplash, who is apparently a woman in peri menopause. Also, yesterday I was called into […]
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So I’ve started my graduate writing workshop in Oshkosh. What I hadn’t realized was that it is a combined undergraduate/graduate class. Actually, there are only two graduate students in the class, including myself. The rest are all undergrads taking this as an Intro course. I suppose that it makes me a bit of a snob, […]
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There’s a cricket living in my garage. And with the acoustics in the garage, he sounds like the biggest cricket in the history of cricketdom. He’s not a cricket, he’s a Cricket. He’s Cricketasaurus Rex. The Cricket does not need a prop. When I walk out into my breezeway (which is now technically a mudroom […]
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Someone this weekend remarked that ‘ass’ is my favorite word. I agreed that while it is not probably my favorite word, it is heavy in my vocab rotation. ‘Ass’ is the little black dress of the conversation, if you think about it. It is appropriate almost anywhere. Jesus did in fact ride into Jerusaleum on […]
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I got neato mail the other day. Not a bill, not a coupon for a lawn service, not another credit card application, not a disk for a gazillion hours of free AOL. Actual real mail. The first thing that was cool was a letter from my friend Laurie, she of the Shit In Her Face. […]
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In further proof that the universe does not want me to look cute, after I applied my post-lunch lipstick, I was getting into the car and my breasts were so perky that as I ducked my head, my lips touched my chest. On one breast of my white shirt, a perfect upside-down lip print in […]
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I am very sad today. Karl the fish at 826 Valencia died. I just now found out. Too late to send flowers or bowls of red jell-o and bananas and Cool-Whip. Karl was Jen Larsen’s boyfriend. I wanted him to be my fishy boyfriend, but did not want to step on the beautiful delicate feet […]
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There is a tiny little dwarf with a pickaxe who has somehow gotten into my skull and he’s going at the gray matter like there are diamonds to be found within the wrinkles. It’s migraine time again, kiddies. Oh happy day. I went home mid-morning yesterday, after fighting the burgeoning pain with caffeine and Advil […]
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I have this weird Tech Support flirt thing going on with one of my clients. He’s actually an intern, in his early thirties and apparently went back to grad school. He’s based out of San Francisco, going to grad school in Berkeley, but interning in New York, so we talked about The Bird in Berkeley […]
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Jake and I went to Jen Larsen’s literary reading in Berkeley with Monique and Jen Wade (who is one of the most brilliant and hysterical people I think I’ve met and might just possibly be perfect. If there is ass out there to be kicked, I think Jen is the girl to do it. With […]
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