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This entry thinks quite highly of itself

In further proof that the universe does not want me to look cute, after I applied my post-lunch lipstick, I was getting into the car and my breasts were so perky that as I ducked my head, my lips touched my chest. On one breast of my white shirt, a perfect upside-down lip print in Prescriptives Pillow lip gloss.

I swear, on some days, it’s a wonder that I don’t just crap my pants.