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I think I’ll make a snappy new day

I was thinking about immortality last night and I ran into a show talking about Fred Rogers. And I then decided that if I had the chance to grant immortality to any person on the earth, it would be Mister Rogers. Simply because Mister Rogers should never die. Not ever. I will bawl big horrible tears and my face will be screwed up for days if Mister Rogers should ever pass away.

The man’s voice is phenomenal. It’s better than Prozac and years of therapy. Think about it.

Can you think of a single happier place to be than Mister Roger’s fun little cottage, with it’s little fish tank and shelf full of the miniatures from the Land of Make Believe? I mean, Mister Rogers was really the voice of King Friday! And Trolley! Wasn’t Trolley the coolest damn thing you ever saw in your life?

I was always pissed off that I had miss Mister Rogers when I had to go to grade school in the dark ages, before VCRs. There was no edge, like the Electric Company had. There was no simpering, like Sesame Street. Just you and Mister Rogers and Lady Elaine Fairchild and Prince Tuesday and the like.

Mister Rogers is retiring from making the Mister Roger’s Neighborhood show. He’s planning to do some educational recordings and computer programs for children now. But it makes me so happy to know that SOMEONE when I was growing up recognized that he knew I was special and I had him as a friend. And that makes my world a better place indeed.

Eddie Murphy should apologize to him for making fun of him on Saturday Night Live so many years back. But then, I know Mister Rogers wouldn’t require him to do that. Mister Rogers would forgive him. That’s why I love Mister Rogers so much. He’s so much better than most of us.

Thus, Mister Rogers should be granted immortality.

But I do think that possibly Lady Elaine had a drinking problem. And she might also have been a relative of Jane Hathaway from the Beverly Hillbillies. Not certain. But I should probably go to hell for thinking that.