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Lolly lolly lolly get your clue here

There’s a Christmas mad-lib going around the office, and my coworkers had to ask me what a noun was. And then what an adjective was. And then an adverb. I patiently explained and provided examples in kind. Then one jumped in and started singing ‘Conjunction Junction’ like that was supposed to help.

I countered ‘That’s ‘and’, ‘but’ or ‘or’, which are conjunctions, not adjectives nor adverbs.’

She retorted ‘Well, I’m glad SOMEBODY’S going back to school for this!’

I replied ‘You learn that in grade school, not graduate school.’

But seriously, how can someone not know what an adjective is? Isn’t that part of the autonomic nervous system? Breathing, heartbeats and Strunk and White’s Elements of Style? Can I get a witness?