There is a tiny little dwarf with a pickaxe who has somehow gotten into my skull and he’s going at the gray matter like there are diamonds to be found within the wrinkles. It’s migraine time again, kiddies. Oh happy day. I went home mid-morning yesterday, after fighting the burgeoning pain with caffeine and Advil […]
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I have this weird Tech Support flirt thing going on with one of my clients. He’s actually an intern, in his early thirties and apparently went back to grad school. He’s based out of San Francisco, going to grad school in Berkeley, but interning in New York, so we talked about The Bird in Berkeley […]
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I have a whole little pot of Body Shop lip balm. Born Lippy, it’s called. I think that’s what I should have called my web page. It’s too long. Too wordy. Seven big ass syllables, which is a whole lot when you consider that we live in a world where everything needs to fit into […]
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Client: I don’t understand this question about the snack nuts. Wendy: Well, nuts are classified four ways. Nuts in cans, nuts in jars, nuts in bags and unshelled. Client: What does ‘unshelled’ mean? Out of the shell? Wendy: Um…. no, actually in the shell. Like pistachios. Client: Well, if it’s a nut, you’d eat it […]
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I felt it. That cold sort of warm breeze that harkens the beginning of autumn. I don’t know if it’s because all the kids started school on Tuesday or if they’ve just naturally timed it that well, but it’s as though with the first appearance of a yellow school bus, all the trees drop their […]
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So last night, I was bored. And what do bored people do when they are home alone and have already watched all of their DVDs and they should be working on their grad school applications and researching schools but they really don’t because it just seems like a waste of time and they just found […]
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Dear Michelle Branch, I’m grooving on ‘All You Wanted‘ but ever since Mo mentioned that when you say ‘So busy OOOOUTTT there’, you sound like the boys from Hansen, I expect you to break into ‘mmm-bop’ at any second. On the bright side, I hear that they’ve hit puberty now, so you’ve probably got a […]
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While I was in line at the grocery store, I heard this voice,this pained needle-like voice,like an irritated morning alarm clock buzzer,coming from the next line over. Standing there were two very nicely dressed older people. They were trying to hurry along the cashier, as the Packer game was starting in three minutes and it […]
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I was thinking about immortality last night and I ran into a show talking about Fred Rogers. And I then decided that if I had the chance to grant immortality to any person on the earth, it would be Mister Rogers. Simply because Mister Rogers should never die. Not ever. I will bawl big horrible […]
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I am currently in the throws of writer’s block. Which is ironic, because prior to this diary, I hadn’t written anything especially weighty in, oh, three or four years. Sometimes I think I should be working in a delicious 300-year-old English cottage somewhere, with lichens growing on the slate roof. Even though most English cottages […]
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